October 2009 - Byron Bay 7s - Pandas on Tour
Tour Report
2009 HHRUFC Tour to Byron Bay Report
The 2009 HHRUFC Pandas Tour to Byron commenced early this year, with Mr Movies arriving in Ballina 24 hours before any other tourist… He was however soon joined by our namesake (Panda himself) & Ralf who journeyed to Ballina with one of our mascots (Perry) in the star destroyer.
Kinder Surprise took out 1st scull of the tour at the airport on the Friday, drinking his first beer of the tour with the wrong hand.
Friday saw an enjoyable flight to Ballina where we met our bus & commenced Schapelle’s mystery tour. First stop, Ballina Liqourland for essential supplies. We discovered here that the buddy system in fact does not work if both you & your buddy get off the bus…
Once Merkhin & Mr Movies had been found we made our way to stop 2 of Schapelle’s Mystery tour… the most easterly point of Australia, Byron Bay Lighthouse, for a team shot & an icecream.
The Rails hotel received the Pandas well, although there was no Bamboo on the menu. Kate Moss again demonstrated his fondness for Garlic Bread…
With lunch & refreshments consumed, it was off to the Panda Lairs of 2009, with the older blokes (except Kinder Surprise & Fiji Tim) getting their own house (I was informed that older Pandas require a lot more sleep, a fact aptly demonstrated by Thecond, Stimpy, Chippy, Family Guy & Lara Croft on the Saturday night…).
With Steaks on a plane BBQ’d at the main Panda Lair, & officials elected for Kangaroo Court (Bally Bar Magistrate, Family Guy, Stimpy & Lara Croft Sergeants At Arms, & Kate Moss, Mr Movies & Harpoon as Defence Lawyers) it was off into the Byron night, starting with the Beaches, for the Pandas. Uluru enjoyed a Chumba Wumba for his birthday, some tourists made some new friends, Datsun borrowed a bike, Sylvia slept in a cupboard, & everyone discovered just how much of a pest Kinder Surprise is.
Saturday saw the arrival of Crouching Tiger & Acorn, the playing of the first 6 games, Lindsay excelled as our specialist kick-off merchant, security checked out 3 Litre 42 Below Vodka bottle wasn’t full of vodka but water about 6 times, our real estate agent called & insisted Fiji Tim’s “illegal erection” (tent…) be removed from the back yard, Harpoon & Co made friends with a dog, Uluru celebrated his Friday birthday with a try, Crouching Tiger scored a yellow card in our win over the X Rats 2 (for having a brother at Petersham I think…), Frenchie stayed cool on the field in his shades, & Pommy Richie & Merkhin caught a rickshaw from the bar at the ground to oval 2
Saturday night saw the absence of the aforementioned older tourists, Thecond missing out on his birthday Chumba Wumba, the viewing of a piece of cinematography of the highest calibre (Dodgeball…), & significantly less mental behaviour…
Sunday saw the HHRUFC Pandas improve 100% on last years results, with a SECOND win on tour. Making the win all the sweeter was that it was over the Dirty Reds 7s team! Our Fijian Flyer, Fiji Tim (brought to you by an immigration mistake & a shitload of Kava…) carved up the Dirty Reds with 2 tries & a conversion. There was however a conspiracy against the Pandas! On Saturday night one Panda Team was drawn to play the other Panda Team, however by Sunday morning, the draw had been changed. We discovered through our network of contacts in Byron (“Oi Stuey, who had the draw changed?”) that the Sloths had complained about the Panda Vs Panda draw. Kinder Surprise got our revenge with a hit on a Sloths player in our Sunday game against them that sent him into next week!
An appearance in the semi-finals Vs a Byron Bay team (with a cousin of Israel Folau’s in it) saw the end of the playing part of the Panda’s tour, however following an epic Kangaroo Court (nice swim Kinder Surprise & Nuts…) a rainy Sunday night saw the social side of the tour continue. Thecond performed a double Chumba Wumba to make up for missing the night before, Geeves & one of the Dave’s rookies displayed their taste for egg, the Poms & Co were locked out of the house in the rain after leaving the pub (& the people with the house keys…) early, Chunks knocked back an amorous advance, Pandas bought the bakery out of éclairs, lamingtons & pies, Ralf impersonated Mguyver (hope you found your shirt mate) & the mascot lost its guts…
Monday saw the usual house re-building, Kinder Surprise was christened the “Aussie Harris”, Mr Movies spent 6 hours at the airport (accompanied by Datsun, & for a shorter period Frenchie) waiting for his later flight, & Chunks tried to pick up in the airport to make up for the night before…
On field Tourist of 2009: Pat Lara Croft Feige with 3 tries & 1 conversion.
Off-Field Tourist of 2009: Lindsay The Pimp McCormack
With one more tourist than 2008 (29 as opposed to 28), double the wins (1 Saturday & 1 Sunday), one team in C-Division, & a semi-final appearance for the first time in my time going to Byron, the tour was an on-field as well as off-field success.
I’d like to thank our sponsor; GRANTS BUTCHERY, & all those who helped out. For those interested, the tour is always on a weekend in October after the Labour day long-weekend, start working on your leave passes for 2010. Thanks for a great tour, see you next year.
Schapelle
Tour Director 2009
2009 Official Results:
| HHRUFC Pandas Vs Gold Coast Breakers | Lost 53 – 0 |
| HHRUFC Pandas Vs Sloths | Lost 40 – 5 (Pommy Richie 1 try) |
| HHRUFC Pandas Vs Island Breeze (eventual tournament runners-up) | Lost 47 -10 (Uluru 1 try & Lara Croft 1 try) |
| HHRUFC Pandas Vs Brisbane Brothers | Lost 50 – 0 |
| HHRUFC Pandas Vs X Rats 2 | Won 17 -12 (Kinder Surprise 2 tries & 1 conversion & Kate Moss 1 try) |
| HHRUFC Pandas Vs Wainui O Mata NZ | Lost 51 – 0 |
| HHRUFC Pandas Vs Sloths | Lost 50 – 0 |
| HHRUFC Pandas Vs Drummoyne | Won 26 -10 (Lara Croft 1 try & 1 conversion, Geeves 1 try, & Fiji Tim 2 tries & 1 conversion) |
| HHRUFC Pandas Vs Byron Bay (semi-final) | Lost 38 – 12 (Lara Croft 1 try & 1 conversion & Acorn 1 try) |
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